Hello lovely Human beings 💫
Okay so let me be honest this past week has not been the best and as I write this I am not sure what to actually write about but I have missed writing .
So where do I start ? Where did things go wrong , how did I arrive at this point where I miss feeling alive ? Yeahh I lately just feel like I exist but I am not alive I don’t understand I don’t know how to explain this.
Maybe I am overreacting I mean it is just short vac from Uni and maybe I am just bored on my own which hardly happens so this is why I am writing with the hope that I arrive to a conclusion as to why I am feeling this way .
This whole month has just been a rollercoaster ride that I am not enjoying , I think I am all over the place simply craving for that one reason that I started everything .
I am literally asking my self why I am still alive ? Like there must be a reason a very Authentic one that along the way has just disappeared from my mind .
Don’t get me wrong I am very grateful to wake up everyday that’s a gift but I just long the days when I woke up and had a purpose or rather knew what my purpose was . Lately it feels like I am just wasting 24 hours that I could have used to do so much .
I think maybe it is varsity that’s got me feeling so down , all the submissions and the lectures it’s really a lot .. but weird enough it’s the reason I now wake up . I wake up to attend lectures or try too , I wake up to write essays and do readings and receive grades back that’s it the cycle repeats itself and I can’t help but feel like there’s so much I could do
Like this is not what I signed up for this is not what I agreed on this life of just living is not for me . I want to feel alive and have joy and hell I want to be happy again
My dream of one day being a clinical psychologist yes I know that’s gonna take a long time well I am doing my third year so only 4more to go but it’s taking soo much from me that just maybe I might dream about something else 🤷🏽♀️
I don’t know though if I’d be happy if I do that 🤔 it would be giving everything I have worked for . Anyway this post is just that I guess taking it all out by writing something else that used to make me feel alive now it’s more draining .
If there is one thing I have always advocated for was being Real to myself and right now I don’t know what is really going on.
“Do you think we take turns , like of being happy ? Do you think if you are sad then someone has a chance to be happy somewhere on the globe ? Do you think we take turns ?
-precious Milk ”
Be love |love | ✨|🌻| be happy |spread the joy |some people are in search of it |bye |